December 20, 2006

It's official, I have been waiting one year and 2 weeks! I got inspired to start my own blog after reading Waiting for Abby and Eliza's story. I wish I would have started last year when I first started my paperwork, but I do have a handwritten journal to share with Baby Amaya some day. I thought baby would be home for Christmas this year so I have my ups and downs about the holidays. I am thankful for time with family and friends and I get in the Christmas spirit when I am doing my shopping for them. I am excited to spend Christmas with them, but then there are moments when I am depressed because Amaya was supposed to be home for Christmas this year. I keep changing her name. For now, it's Amaya but I am also considering Alina. It has gone from Mariana to Aaliyah to Ayanna to Ava now to Amaya/Alina. I'm hoping when I meet her, her american name will come to me and feel right! :-) At this point, I am feeling like I am never going to meet her and it won't ever happen but after reading other people's blogs, I am reenergized and more hopeful, she will come home eventually! Thanks to other adoptive moms who put their stories out there. It helps so much to know and read about people going through the same emotions and experiences. Your friends and family support you and are there for you, and I am truly blessed to have them in my life. However, I think it is so important to have this adoption community of other people in your shoes because although your friends and family can empathize and love and support you, only those going through it themselves can truly relate to the roller coaster ride of emotions.